Kalousdian/Simonian

"This is my Life" by Jean Simonian
(Her story, in her own words, with minimal editing.)

Note: The second aunt and uncle mentioned in Jean's story were Siranoush and Yessayi Kalousdian (Shabin-Karahissartsi) of Willow Street, Whitinsville. Sebouh, Agnes and Prudence were her only first cousins in America, and vice versa. Barsegh was Yessayi's (Isaac) oldest brother who preceeded him to Whitinsville.

My father’s name is Parsegh Kaloustian and my mothers name Chemorik Dogramadgian. My father and mother were born in Armenia. My father was married; he had one son. His name was Sebouh. And my mother was married and had two children. My brother Noubar and my sister Elise.

My father did a lot of traveling. Then he came in America with many of his friends to work. He was here for 15 years. He used to send the money to his family in Armenia. After 15 years, he went back to Armenia to bring his family back to America with him. He left all of his money with his friends in America. He was promised by his friends the money would be there upon his return. In 1918, when he arrived in Armenia the war had started with the Turks. The Turks had massacred 1,500,000 Armenian people. They killed my father’s first wife, son and all of his immediate family, but he saved his younger brother and sent him to America. People in the village all ran in the church to be saved by the Turks. My grandfather was at the door of the church protecting the entrance. When the Turkish soldiers came, he said, “you can’t enter this is a church”. They killed him, entered the church and killed all of those inside. Pregnant women, children and elderly were all massacred and they took little children and threw them in the river, while their mothers watched. The rest of the people who were saved, started walking to be safe. They traveled 40 days and nights through the mountains to escape to surrounding countries.

My mother’s first husband died in the (Turkish) army. She also lost her family to the Turks. She saved her two year old brother. His name was Hagop. She also saved her son and her daughter. My father escaped to Turkey. He loved business and opened two stores in Turkey. One sold tobacco; the other a bakery. At the same time, my mother escaped separately to Turkey. She used to work in a rich person’s house who also took care of her brother, son and daughter. A short time after, my father and mother met, in Turkey. They got married and my father adopted the children. My father was 15 years older than my mother. My mother used to tell us always, I love your father because he is a gentleman. My sister Monique was born in Turkey. A couple of years later, a Turkish friend of my father told my dad to get out of Turkey, because bad Turks were planning to burn his businesses. We left everything we owned except some jewelry and the clothes on our back. They went to France with the hopes of returning to America. They went to Marseilles. There was a big hotel; everybody in the hotel was Armenian. Most of them came to America. There were around six people in each hotel room. My sister Monique was a small baby, and got very sick with Scarlet Fever. My father wrote to his brother in America to send the money he left with his friends. He never received the money because my uncle and his wife bought a house with the money. My uncle was a very nice man, but not intelligent, like my father. He had no backbone and my aunt controlled the relationship. He was nothing like my father.

America closed its doors to foreigners before we could go. We were stuck in Marseille, which became our home. It was very hard to live in the city with four kids. My father went to look someplace so we could move from the hotel. He went to the suburb and found some land. They called it Camp Ripert. It was a 100% Armenian community. Dad built 2 houses here. One of them had 5 rooms on the top floor; that was our house. We also had 8 apartments with about 5 people living in each. One kitchen and one bedroom. No plumbing. Only an outhouse. No electricity. No refrigerator. No heat, washing machine or hot water. Only a small coal-burning stove. My mother would heat water in the stove and wash everything by hand. Once a week, my mother would put a big pan on the stove and heat the water for our bath.

I was born in Marseille in Hospital Conception. November 26, 1928. My name is Jeanne’. In Armenian, my name is Askaser. I was 12 pounds at birth. My mother was pregnant 7 times. Three times she gave herself an abortion. When my mother was pregnant with me, she unsuccessfully attempted another abortion. Later in life I met a lady on a trolley car who said she saved my life. Many years earlier, she helped my mom to try to abort me, but was unsuccessful. “Thank God. Now, look at you,” she said. My mother was very embarrassed being pregnant with me because my brother was already 18 years old. My sisters were 15 and 8 when I was born.

We were a very happy family. My father really loved politics, church and business. He visited many countries and he was happy every day. He loved to sing. Everybody in the town loved and respected him. He built a big table with two long benches under a big fig tree, in our yard. Every day the neighbors would congregate at the table for coffee and stories. And the children always played very happy and we didn’t even have a toy. At night in the winter it was very, very cold and we didn’t have heat. We used to sleep with hot water bottles by our feet, or stove-heated bricks that my mother would wrap in a towel and put at our feet. At night friends used to come to our house. We had one stove and we all sat around and my father told stories. My father would get up in the morning very, very happy, even though we had nothing. I adored my mother. She was very helpful and a sweet and very nice person. She respected her husband. She was in the kitchen always cooking. She was happy too. She never complained and I’m very proud of her. We had a lot of love in my family. Sometimes on Sundays we’d go to the beach. Three families would rent a wagon with horses to get to the beach. We were easily amused. Every year for Christmas Eve my mom would prepare 12 kinds of fruit and food. All of our neighbors and friends would come visit. My father for Christmas would cut a branch from a tree. He’d bring it in inside and we’d hang fruit from the branch……that was our Christmas tree. There were no gifts. I was very happy because I had a doll and all my friends would play with it. My mother sewed a dress for me to wear on Sundays, and two others for the week. My father wanted to open a bakery, but at the time the French government wouldn’t allow it because he wasn’t a French citizen. Then my daddy went to work with other Armenian friends in the factories. Nobody was on welfare. Armenian race are very proud people. Very honest. No one was in jail. The French people would call us “dirty Armenians”. After the war we gained respect because our young men fought and died for France. My sister Monique was handicapped. She never worked or went to school. It was very hard for my parents because they were in a strange country and couldn’t speak the language. When my sister was a little girl, she was so beautiful. And my sister Elise was our “mother”. She could speak French and she took care of us.

At that time marriages were arranged. My sister Elise was 17 years old. They arranged a marriage with this young man. He had no family. My daddy gave them an apartment for them downstairs from our apartment. The marriage didn’t last too long. He used to cheat on her and beat her. She never told us. Then she got sick. The doctor came and found she had contracted herpes from her husband. That’s why she couldn’t have children. At that time divorce was forbidden, but the doctor and priest gave her permission, because of the circumstances. When my sister got divorced I was two years old. Everyone thought I was her daughter. She did everything for me. She took me everywhere. She later married a Frenchman named Leon Chaix. He was a nice man. My sister had two jobs. She worked at a nursery school in the am, and a different one in the afternoon. At night she would come home and do the shopping for my parents. Every day. I loved my uncle. He was so nice. He would take me for ice cream, chocolates and candy and ride me on his bicycle all the time. One day he was going to take me to the carnival. I was so happy. I was running and fell down the stairs and broke my leg. I was seven years old. He was very sad. For months I was laying in bed. The doctor would come and tie a weight to my leg and hang it off of the bed. My friends would come to my window and bed and play with me. My brother was very handsome, but not friendly. I loved my uncle more. My brother and uncle both had unsuccessful marriages. My brother’s wife was very mean. She was a very mean and bad person. She even broke a bottle over my brother’s head. He never divorced because it wasn’t respectable for the family. He was married for 40 years. He’s now 95 years old. My uncle’s wife cheated on him right in front of our eyes…….in the same house. She never was embarrassed. My mother used to cry all of the time.

The Germans declared war in 1940 and my brother and uncle went into the army. My brother returned okay, but my uncle lost his foot. He wore special shoes. My brother had three children; two girls and a boy. My Uncle had two boys. I walked four miles a day for school. Hot and cold weather. During the war we traveled to school with gas masks hanging from our shoulder. When the siren sounded, we’d run home with the mask on our face. If we were home when the Germans invaded, about 30 of us would go to our basement for protection. With screaming and crying children, my father would place wet towels over the window to keep the gas out. There were ten children screaming. We were so scared all the time. When they were prevented from gassing us, they started using bombs. Then my father built a bomb shelter in our yard. Now when the sirens sounded, we would all run in the shelter. It was dark and dirty. Sometimes we were told to run into an open field. My poor Mother used to hold an elderly neighbor’s hand and my sister Monique’s and would run to the field. When the sirens sounded, the old lady would always cry for my mother to help her. When I went to school, I was a tom-boy. I use to climb the trees and jump over the many walls with my girlfriend Louise. We used to steal cherries and apples all the time. We got caught a couple of times and got chased by dogs many more. One day I came home crying because my girlfriend pushed me and I fell. My Father told me “You know what to do.” After that nobody touched me because I’d punch them back. I went to the store with my father and his big wheelbarrow to buy cement, or for coal to burn for fuel. I used to push the heavy wheelbarrow. My father said many times “you should have been a boy.”

At school, the Americans would give us one vitamin and one slice of bread daily. We had to eat the vitamin right there so they could see, but the slice of bread I’d bring home and share half with my sister. I was 12 years old when I left school and went to work. We had no food or drink, nor the money to buy it, so I went to work to help my family. I was too small to work on the sewing machines, so I was a gopher. I had two or three different jobs; each paying more money. Every week I’d give the money to my mother. Where I lived there were four streets of Armenian people. We new everybody and we played together. Always happy. Because of the war we were very scared to leave our homes, because of the many German soldiers who were very mean. At two or three am we’d go to the store and wait in line for hours to try to buy food to eat. There was very little food available because of the war. Many times, we’d return with nothing. It was especially hard for the children. I was 14 years old and worked in the city. I took the trolley car or walked. I was a gopher for families who needed me to get bread, groceries, etc. I’d always eat some before I delivered it to their house because I was so hungry. We used to eat grass or anything we could find. Sometimes we had extra government “stamps” to but meat. We were told it was typically cat or rat meat. We never complained. When the siren sounded in the city, we used to run under the big apartment buildings and hide in the basement for safety. Sometimes I’d run an hour to get home, while the city was getting bombed. After the bombings, we’d always go back into the city to try to help save people. My parents stopped me from working in the city. I started working closer; only a half hour away. Including coming home for lunch, I’d walk a total of two hours a day.

When the Americans came to liberate us from Germany it was worse. We would stay in the house because there was fighting in the street. When it would quiet down, we’d go outside to find many dead people and soldiers. My future husband, Tom, was one of the American soldiers. He was 19 years old at the time. He went to Marseille, England, Normandy and many other European countries. When the Americans won the war in France, France had no government. Everybody started stealing and looting from all the stores and factories. There were dead people and soldiers on every street. Me and my girlfriend crawled under a barbed wire fence in search of food. We found a couple of factories with food. One was a chocolate factory. I almost fell into a vat of chocolate while making our heist. The Germans also left many canned goods and food that they stole from France. We ate anything we could. Many young French girls would date German soldiers, which was taboo. After the war, the French people would find those girls, shave their head and send them into the streets naked. Some had tar poured on their head. In our town, we had many who died. I had a girlfriend. Her name was Janine. The Germans took her father, uncle and cousin into the woods and shot them. They cut their fingers off to remove their rings. As children we were intrigued by the dead bodies, but it was so, so sad. My father found out they were going to kill him, too. He made everyone from our 5 apartments leave to go to our other apartment. Thank God nothing ever happened, so the next day we went right back home. All the little children were so scared after that. We had a little baby in an apartment downstairs. We believed baby’s urine helped to prevent children from being so scared, so we all drank the urine. The Americans opened these big tents in open fields. We had one across from our home with many American soldiers. There were Russian, Indian, Belgian, Italian, English, Hindu and Cingalize (sp?) soldiers. They were all there to help France. We would visit the tent because the Americans would give us gum, bread, chocolates and canned food. My father knew a bit of English so he got a job in the tent as a cook. At night he’d bring the leftovers home in a big can. The soldiers would drive him home every night because his food cargo was too heavy. The Americans would call my daddy “Hey Joe”. He’d feed all the neighbors in the apartments. He was very strict about us talking with the soldiers.

Many of the girls dated the Americans so they could come to the US, but none of my friends ever succeeded. Two of my girlfriends were crazy about going to America, but I was content and happy where I was. I never had a desire to go, but had an opportunity. Since I was 8, I had an aunt who lived in America. She had no children and wanted me to come to America to visit. She had two houses and money she wanted to will to me. My family didn’t want me to leave them. After the war, lots of Armenians left France and went back to Armenia. Many of my friends went. We all went to the boat to see them and say bye. It was very, very sad. Everyone was crying. The children didn’t want to leave their friends, but the parents wanted to go back to their country. But, Armenia, wasn’t our country. The Russian Communists ran the country by dictatorship. When they returned home, they were very sad and depressed. I have friends who were killed by their own people because they left the country originally. These were the days of Stalin. There was no food to eat, so the Armenians would steal, just to survive. When caught, they were sent to Siberia. As a result, all these people who originally left came back to France. These were very hard times, the five years during the war, and now I am seventeen years old and life was beginning to be normal for me once again. My parents bought me a white bicycle in which I used to go everywhere with that bike and take my girlfriend Isabelle (Hunazant) with me everywhere. She did not have a bike so I put her on the back of my bike and took her everywhere. I used to go on the bike to work and dancing all dressed up with pretty white gloves. Every year Alchto’s father (Yervan), my mother’s cousin, who was a clothing manufacturer had me come to Paris and model his new clothes. Yervan was the nicest, sweetest and kindest man in the world. In my time they had match makers that would set up marriages. They would come to my house to meet me and ask for my hand, I would make them a cup of coffee and then run out of the house because I did not want anything to do with a match maker. My mother used to say that was not right but she also understood that you needed to love the man you are going to marry. My mom felt this way because she did not want to be responsible just like what happened to my sister’s marriage because she was very unhappy. Now I am twenty years old and have dozens of friends in the town and once a week we would all go dancing.

That was when I met a young man whose name was Renee Sahakian. He was so handsome, tall, dressed beautifully, had blue eyes and black hair. Renee lived downtown. We used to see each other once a week when all friends would go dancing. Then we dated for two years. I hid the fact that Renee and I were dating from my parents because if you date a young man then you were supposed to marry him. After two years his parents came to my house and asked my parents for my hand in marriage. My parents said yes. Both my parents and Renee’s parents got along very well and everything was great. I was very happy because I was in love with him and he was in love with me and we were going to get married. My mother started making my trousseau and making plans for the wedding along with looking for my dress. One day I went downtown to go to the movies with Renee and he said to me that I have something to tell you and he was very sad. He made me read a doctor’s report that he had contracted herpes. Renee and his friend went to be with prostitutes and unfortunately Renee caught the disease and his friend did not. The doctor’s report said that if you get married you will give herpes to your wife and if you have children, they will not be normal. Back then herpes was a very serious illness. My sister, who was a virgin when she was married, caught herpes from her cheating husband and as a result was never able to have children and was very sick. In my time and the way we were raised you did not sleep with a man until you were married. If you were not a virgin when you were married the man could send you back to your parents which would be an embarrassment to your family. This was our custom, even though Renee and I dated for two years. For two years I was very heart broken and did not eat. I cried everyday because my life was destroyed with the awful news I received from Renee, the man I was so in love with and going to spend the rest of my life with. It was at this time that my parents decided to send me to America to start a new life and forget about Renee. Although it was a great opportunity, I did not want to go because I did not want to be that far away from my family and friends.

My father wrote a letter to my Aunt Khoonad in America and she sent the necessary papers and also sent money for my trip. Back in those days you needed someone in America to send paperwork to be responsible for me. My Aunt Khoonad told my parents that she was very excited to have me come and would treat me like her daughter, since she had no children. My understanding was that I was going to America for a short time, like a vacation, and then would go back home. I remember just before I was leaving for America my father came to my room gave me a hug and a kiss and told me not to embarrass them. I knew exactly what he meant. It was July 1953 and I was 24 years old. The whole town, including my friends and family came by to say goodbye to me. I was the first person in the town to go to America. I was very sad to leave my parents, family and friends and go to a strange country where I did not even know one word of the English language. The taxi came to pick me up and with my parents I went to the train station. I hugged my father and mother and said my final goodbye before going to America. My heart and my head had a lot of fond memories of my parents. I will never forget those memories and they will always stay in my heart. Separation is very hard. The train began to move and both me and my parents were crying. My parents stayed at the train station until the train disappeared. I went to Paris and changed trains to go to Cherbourg to get the boat that was going to take me to America. I was so scared to cross the ocean but when I saw the boat, Queen Elizabeth, it was so big and looked like a giant hotel I was less scared. I boarded the boat and did not know one word of English. It was an awful scary feeling being unable to communicate. I was sitting in this big chair on the boat for four hours and everybody was moving around and doing things and I had no idea what they were doing. Then this handsome Marine came over to me and I explained, as best I could, that I am French and do not know any English. He said that he speaks a little bit of French and told me not to sit here but that I needed to go and make arrangements for my room, dining and other paperwork. He was a very nice man and later on he found a very nice girl from Belgium who was going to New York who spoke fluent French and English. The Marine introduced me to her and her name was Josette. The first day I was very sick on the boat due to sea sickness. This young Marine was looking for me and could not find me so he sent two nurses to my room. Come to find out, the Marine, was the doctor of the boat. The nurse gave me some pills to take, dressed me up and they took me outside on the deck. The doctor said not to stay in your room but stay outside and get fresh air and keep eating even though you are throwing up. After getting sick, the next four and half days I had the best time with the nurse, the doctor and Josette. Since I did not speak English, they made sure I was never left alone. On the boat, everybody was dressed up so beautiful and would change three to four times a day. I only had two dresses and had no idea people dressed so nice.

After four and a half days we finally arrived in New York. Josette, the doctor and the nurse woke me up at 5:00 am in the morning to show me the Statue of Liberty. I had no idea about the Statue of Liberty but it was absolutely beautiful. When the boat finally docked all I could see was yellow cars all over the place. They told me that those were cabs. Everyone got off the boat and Josette took me to the top of the boat to show me the first class in the boat. It was beautiful with big chandeliers and it looked like a beautiful hotel. Then two young men came over to us with a camera speaking English. I then told them that I did not speak English. Then Jossette told me that they were journalists and were asking if I were an actress and what country I was coming from. I laughed and told them I was not an actress. They then asked if I was a model. I laughed again and told them no. They wanted to know why I was coming to the United States and what was my profession. I lied and told them I was a dress maker. The journalists took both me and Josette to the top of the boat on a balcony and began to take pictures. I felt like an actress and everyone was watching us. They then took my name and address and told me that my picture would be in the paper in Boston. I weighed 100 pounds and I was wearing a grey dress with a jacket. My bag and backless shoes were both black. I had a coat in my arms and it was checked forest green and black. My hair was black. In France we had our clothes custom made. Grey was the color that year. I had silver earrings with yellow flowers. Now the boat was almost empty and I said my good byes to Josette and was now on my own and no one understood me. Then a man came to me and asked me if I was Kaloustian and I said yes. He had been calling my name for some time but I was still on the boat. He needed to find me so I could open my trunk so they could check it. He then took me to my uncle, my aunt, my cousin Sebouh and his fiancé Margaret and asked if this was the person you were looking for. My aunt did not know what I looked like so my aunt asked me, in Armenian, are you Askaser? I said yes and she was amazed. They were expecting someone from the old country and did not expect young looking and vibrant person. They hugged and kissed me and my uncle had a black Pontiac waiting to take me. When I saw his car, I thought he was very rich. When we got to the house my cousin Agnes and Poorastan were waiting for me. They too said the same thing, they could not believe how I looked. The first week when I arrived my uncle and the family went to a big Armenian picnic. The friends of my uncle and aunt from Boston kept coming up to them asking who I was because they all saw my picture in the Boston paper. I asked my cousin Agnes if she could get me that picture so I could send it back home to my parents. She never did.

They then took me to my old aunt’s house. Her name was Khoonad. Her husband had died and was a very, very nice man. She had two homes and she used to live with her brother-in-law Huran. He was a very old nice man. He could not hear and was very sad. I had to stay with this aunt because she was the one who paid for my trip to America and she wanted to keep me like I was her daughter. The first days I use to cry because I was home sick missing my family and friends as well as I could not speak any English. The first day I wrote a letter to my parents telling them that America is made for women because everything was push-button. In the town of Whitinsville, I use to meet a lot of men who knew my father when they worked with him when he was in America working. He had left his money with those men. The first month living with my Aunt Khoonad was not pleasant. She was very old, jealous and very mean. I thought she was a little crazy and my father knew that. When her friends use to come and see me, they use to tell her that her niece was beautiful but Khoonad use to tell them that her niece was not beautiful but she was. Then the neighbors and friends said that she should not stay with her that maybe she should go get a job. I did not come to get a job and work I was only supposed to stay a few weeks and go back home. A month later I went to work but no one could understand me because I did not know any English. I then met a number of Armenians, Soupee, Agnes, Grace and Lucy. They also worked at the same place and would pick me up and take care of me. To this day I still keep in touch and talk to them. I worked for two months in a factory and made hats. Then Soupee took me to Worcester, Massachusetts and I worked in a soldier hat factory. I was paid by the piece and I worked so fast I was able to make $100 a week. That was a lot of money. I never made that much money in France so my first pay I gave it to the church in Whitinsville. After that I was very happy making all that money and I use to send it to my sister Elise to give it to my parents. The first year I sent them enough money so they could buy a washing machine and a refrigerator. My mother was so surprised when they delivered the appliances, she kept telling the delivery men that there must be mistake that they were not for them. Me and my sister Elise supported our parents. I used to send my money to my sister Elise and she would buy things for our parents. My sister Elise had two jobs to also help out. Marseille, where I lived in France, was a beautiful city right on the ocean.

When I came to Whitinsville there was only one street and it was a very small city. Coming from Marseille I was shocked how small Whitinsville was. I could never live in Whitinsville because to do shopping or pass time you had to go to Worcester, a much bigger city. I was there in Whitinsville for three years with my Aunt Khoonad and I was miserable. She used to throw things at me and was very mean. I would run out of the house and go over to my uncle’s house and cry all the time. Then she would come after me pulling my hair and dragging me back to her house. She always gave me a hard time. One night while I was sleeping, she came into my room and put a wet cloth on my head telling me I had a fever when I was fine. She was always mad when I wanted to out with a friend or a cousin to spend a weekend. People in the town, as an old custom, use to come to my aunt’s house and ask if I could be set up with their sons. I used to tell my aunt that I did not come to America to get married and if I did it would be out of love not being set up. She used to get very angry and I use to run in my bedroom and she would come and lock the door. I use to hear her brother-in-law say to Khoonad, why do you give the girl such a hard time you should leave her alone. Khoonad then would get mad at him. She took me to the lawyer three times for her will to give her assets to me only if I married the boy that she chooses. I told her that I don’t want your house, money, etc. She was so angry she destroyed the wills three separate times. The last time we went to the lawyer he got very mad at her and said that you have been talking about this girl since she was 8 years old. Now she comes over here and gets separated from her family and you are ruining her life. I don’t want you to ever come back here again for me to do another will. One day this family, father, mother and son, that she knew from Boston came over. They were very nice people and had a big convenience store. They invited us to their house. They came and picked us up in a beautiful car. They had two sons and one daughter. They use to always bring us flowers and pastry. Their home was big and beautiful. They would always come to visit and bring things. My aunt Khoonad told me that they wanted me to marry their son. I was so surprised because I did not come to America to get married but to work and send money over to my family. When I told my aunt, “No” she got very, very upset. She refused to tell those nice people that I was not interested. One Sunday they came again with flowers, pastry and candy and I told them very nicely that I was not here to get married. I told them that their son was a very nice boy but I planned on going back home to my parents. They understood and thanked me very much and said that I was a very nice person. They then left and my aunt got very angry again. She started screaming at me and pushing me around. She pushed me into my bedroom and locked the door and would not let me out. Thank God that night my uncle came to see me and I was locked in my bedroom. He said to my aunt, if you don’t open the door I am going to call the police. My uncle was very mad and said that I was going to be going to his house. The next day again she came after me at my uncle’s house and took me back. She had bought me a coat, watch and a dress. She took it all back and said I did not deserve it. I never knew from one day to another what to expect.

My father had told me that if I was not happy to just write him and he would arrange for me to come back. I never wrote him because I did not want him to worry. I could not stay with my uncle because his daughters didn’t want me but I used to visit. My cousin Prudence didn’t work and collected unemployment from the government. Agnes would work and give her mother $15/week for room and board. My aunt one day said to Prudence you have to give me money also. Prudence said Jean isn’t paying, and my aunt said you’re right but Jean isn’t living here and she doesn’t work. After I started working, I would give my aunt $10/week until the day I got married, even though I didn’t live there. I felt like I was mooching so I agreed to pay her. Once and a while I used to eat there but didn’t live there. It never felt like my own family. In my own home we were all happy. Everybody was treated equally. But with my aunt she would always spoil Agnes; everything was always okay with her, but never with Prudence. My cousin Sebouh got married 2 months after I came to America. My uncle wanted me to be a bridesmaid and bought me a beautiful gown. After the wedding Prudence took it away from me. I wanted to go to school to learn English but it would require I go in the evening in a neighboring town called Worcester, MA. I went for 2 weeks in the evening but my uncle stopped me from going because the bus would drop me off at 11pm and he was worried something might happen to me.

My cousin Agnes and me would travel to Worcester to the Armenian Club. It was the first time I had been there and it’s where I met my husband, Tom. Tom came over to us and got us a table and chair and sat with us. He bought us a drink. He was a very nice and generous man. This is where Agnes also met her husband, George. We always had a great time. It was all Armenian girls and boys. Some weeks later we went back. This time Tom wanted to dance with me but I didn’t want to dance with him. Tom and George drove us home that night; almost an hour away to Whitinsville. Agnes began dating George. Tom used to call me all the time on the phone. I used to always make excuses to not go out with him. He was very nice but not my type. My aunt was after me to go out with him even though there were many other boys who liked me. One day he called and I finally said he could come to visit me. Tom and I began dating. We had been seeing each other for about 6 months when Agnes and George got engaged in my uncle’s house. Tom was there. That night Tom was the last to leave. When I walked him to the car to say goodnight, he said I don’t want to see you anymore. I asked him what’s the reason. He said it’s wasn’t my fault, he just didn’t want to anymore. Then I went inside and my aunt asked me what’s wrong and I said Tommy doesn’t want to see me anymore. My aunt got mad at me and asked what I said or did and that it was my fault. The next day at work nobody could believe Tom and I weren’t dating any longer. Three days later at 9:00 pm Tommy called me. He said I want to see you and talk with you. I told him no because it was too late. He begged me and promised it wouldn’t be long. He wanted to come and explain. He told me the day Agnes and George got engaged he was told by all of the older Armenian women how lucky he was for dating me. Tom told himself he wasn’t good enough for me and thought he should stop dating because he couldn’t make me happy. For three days and nights I couldn’t eat or sleep. That’s when I knew I loved him very much. One month later we were in the car talking and he asked me to marry him. He came from a family with 2 brothers and a sister. His mother died very young and his father remarried with a woman with 4 children. Tommy worked very hard to help pay the family bills and he was the reason they were able to sustain. It wasn’t easy for him. He didn’t have much of a family life. All he did was work and help his family financially. His father was too old to work now so Tommy filled the gap. Tom told me he would go out a lot at night because he didn’t have a family life. He often went with his friends to the horse track. He told me if we got married, he would stop his bad habits. I thought he was very honest to tell me that. I took a big chance and said yes. I told him if he continued, I would leave him. When he asked me to marry him, I wrote to my parents in Marseille and told him I met a young man. My father wrote me back and said if you love him, he’s Armenian and from a good family, you have our blessing. We want you to be happy. We got engaged, he gave me a ring and we decided to get married May 27, 1956 in Worcester. My friends helped me a lot. They helped me get my gown and everything else. Agnes gave me lots of problems and a bad time because I was getting married one month before her. My bridesmaids were Soupie, Agnes, and Elsie was the maid of honor. Tommy and I started with nothing…not even a penny. Not my parent’s nor Tom’s were able to help us financially. I bought a ticket for my mother to travel by boat to be here for my wedding and could not afford one for my dad. We had 250 people at our wedding and I barely knew any of them. We took the money we had received for the wedding and paid for it that way. The remaining money we used to drive to Florida for our honeymoon. We stayed for two weeks and had a great time in Florida. Every morning of our honeymoon Tommy would butter my toast for me. The first day we returned home and had breakfast I was waiting for him to butter my toast. He said to me the honeymoon is over and it was time to butter your own toast.

From that day forward, I did everything myself. We bought a bedroom set and couch on credit and had a card table and folding chairs for our kitchen set. When we arrived home, our bedroom set and couch had not yet been delivered, so we stayed with Tommys parents for two weeks until it was delivered. Upon leaving, we paid Tommy’s father two weeks’ worth of rent. Our apartment was where my friend Margaret’s mother lived. It was on Main Street in Worcester, across from Margaret’s house. We bought a single bed for my mother because she was coming to visit us for 8 months. She really loved Tommy a lot and was happy we were married. Elizabeth, our landlord, was just like a mother to me, and Margaret was like a sister. We wanted my mother to stay longer but my father was sick. My mother had to return to France. We took her to New York to the boat to leave. She cried so hard and said it was very hard to leave you here. She said I’ve seen Tommy and he is such a nice boy but if he drinks, hits you, doesn’t work, gamble or cheats on you, take your suitcase and return home. If not, then you work hard at your marriage to make it successful. When we returned from New York I felt like I lost part of myself. I didn’t know how to do anything and I didn’t have anyone in my family to teach me about married life. All of my friends had their brothers, sisters, mothers and fathers and I didn’t even have a mother-in-law. I used to work hard and learn from the old timers and my new friends how to do everything. Margaret taught me most things like cooking, but I was mostly on my own. Things like cooking, gardening, raising children and sewing were all new to me. I used to cry a lot but nobody knew. When I came outside, I always had a smile. My father taught us to smile so the sun would shine on you, and you’d always make someone happy. After we got married, for 2-3 years he would go to the Armenian Club where we met, to visit with his friends. I always stayed home. Tommy and I really had nothing in common. Things I loved, he didn’t. Things like going out, laughing and singing were foreign to him, however, he was very good to me. I felt like he was my husband, my father and my brother because he treated me so well. Tommy used to work very hard as a pipefitter but I didn’t know how to manage the money. Tommy and I would spend everything we had. Soupie explained to me how to manage our money. She gave me a budget book and showed me how to start a budget. We paid for our furniture and I started putting money aside.

Three years later I was pregnant. When I had our first child, Tommy, nobody was even at the hospital with me. Still, I had so much to learn. Tommy was born March 5, 1959. He was my rock. Daddy would help me with the baby. He knew more than I did because he helped to raise his sister Elsie’s two daughters, Joyce and Jeannie. When Tommy was 1 year old, we moved because we didn’t have a yard. We found a cute house a short distance away on 34 Blaine Avenue. Daddy wanted a big house, but I felt this was a palace for me. We paid $13,300 for our home. Our mortgage was $80/month in 1960. I stopped my job as a piece-maker at the factory making $120/week in 1960. I was very happy to stop working now that we had a family. I got pregnant again. At the same time my father was sick. I had not seen them for seven years. Daddy said I should go to France to see my father so he could meet his grandson before anything bad might happen. For a whole year my father had uncontrollable hiccups which weakened his heart and caused his death. In the meantime, he would always call my name from his bedside. One of my parents’ neighbors suggested they show my father a picture of me. Shortly after he saw my picture, he passed away. He never had a chance to meet his grandson. We were two weeks to late. He was 88 years old. Tommy was one year old and I was pregnant when we took a boat back home to see my family. My and Tom’s aunts came with us to France. It was March 1960. It was the worst time to travel on the ocean. Tommy was so scared he cried for 5 days and I threw up for 5 days. Our 2 aunts never helped me because they were old and had their own challenges. Five days later we arrived in Luxembourg?? We took the train to Paris. I stayed in Paris for two days at my aunt and uncle’s house because my trunk had not yet arrived. They were very happy to see me. I came to Marseille and it was a very sad time because I never got to see my father, and he never got to meet his grandson. My poor mother had really aged and was dressed in black, along with my two sisters. My mother didn’t want to live anymore, but she was very happy to see me and her grandson. I stayed for 2 months and it was always very sad. I was happy to see my family and friends but after 7 years everything was different. Twice a week we would visit the cemetery. My friends would visit every day to see me and Tommy.

One day one of my best girlfriends came and said my old boyfriend Rene’ wanted to see me. He had always waited for me, but when I got married, he too, went and got married, although he wasn’t happy. I said to my girlfriend to tell Rene’ I was happily married with one child and another on the way and I didn’t want to see him. My girlfriend said Rene’ begged her to see me and said he only wanted to talk with me. I, again, said no. In my heart I wanted to see him but because I was married, I didn’t want it to cause any problems. My mother was a diabetic and becoming sick with heart problems. After my father died, at 88 she felt like there was no reason to live. I went to see my father because he was sick, but he died 2 weeks before. I stayed 2 months and daddy (Thomas) would write me all the time. After 2 months he sent my tickets to come home to Worcester by plane since the initial boat trip was horrible. Me, Tommy and daddy’s aunt Nana came back by plane. My aunt (Sebouh’s mother) returned by boat. When I went to France, me and daddy had just bought our first house. When we returned, I didn’t recognize the house because when I left it was very snowy and now it was spring and everything was green and the house looked great. Daddy was very happy we were back.

In Nov 26, 1960 Randy, “My Star” was born. It was very hard for me when the children were sick and daddy was working, I had nobody to help me with the kids. Daddy worked in Boston and he was making a little extra money because of travel pay and I put all that money aside and we paid for our house in five years. Then we put that money aside for the children for college, weddings. Once in a while we would go to McDonald’s and it was like going to a fancy restaurant. We were very happy. I used to take the bus to take the children in for a doctor’s visit. I was very happy to have my little house. I called it my castle. We didn’t have much inside, but little by little it all came together nice. Now I have a lot of friends, nice neighbors; and they were all very nice. Me and Daddy never went out to eat or to a movie, but every weekend he would take us to church and then after church we’d always go for a Sunday drive.

Three years after my father died, my mother died. I was not there for my fathers or mother’s funeral and I would cry all the time. It’s almost like they’re not dead for me, because I didn’t see them die. For seven years I was in the US and missed not seeing them even once. My mother died because it was very cold weather. She was outside fixing a water pipe. She went inside and to bed. She died of a heart attack, in bed, at age 65. When she died my older sisters kept her body in the house for a whole week. Because it was so cold, they could not dig a hole in the cemetery to bury her. My sisters kept ice on her dead body so it wouldn’t smell. My parents were both buried in public cemeteries that had a three year maximum. My sister wrote me telling me they could not afford a private cemetery plot and their remains would be disposed of by the city. It was 1965 and I started work immediately at night shift to raise the money needed for a proper burial. When daddy would come home from work, he’d drop me off for the night shift doing piece work/sewing in a factory in Worcester, MA. When they changed my father’s gravesite, somebody had to reconfirm the remains. My sister Elise didn’t have the heart to look at him because there were all bones in the casket, so sister Monique had to identify him. They put him in a little wooden box and put him in the new family plot which could hold 8 people. We bought a beautiful headstone, too. It was the $500 I saved from my new job that paid for the new plot and headstone.

After my mother died, our family started having problems with my brother and his wife. My older sister said she didn’t want my parents’ two houses after they died. Then I wrote to Elise saying I can’t keep the houses from the US. I told my sister it was okay to do what she felt was right. Elise told my brother and sister-in-law if they cared for sister Monique, they could keep both houses. My sister-in-law wanted the houses, but not interested in caring for Monique. I wrote to Elise to sell both houses. Elise sold both houses, and now was the only person who could care for Monique. I told Elise I didn’t want any part of the proceeds and wanted her to keep my portion for caring for Monique. It was a difficult decision because we had nothing, but it was the right thing to do. Daddy said we could earn money because we were still young. Daddy took us to the American Consulate to sign the documents so my share would go to sister Elise. Because of that, my sister-in-law got mad and wouldn’t let us be involved with our brother for 25 years. After my mother left after our wedding, daddy’s brother, Bobby, started living with us on and off for almost three years….until he got married to Doris. The parents of Doris, were very against Doris and Bobby’s wedding because Bobby was divorced, and they were a very strict Catholic family. All ten brothers and sisters disowned her for marrying Bobby. Bobby’s family took Doris in as one of their own. Two or three times a week, Bobby and Doris would come to our house for dinner. We would always do things with them both. As soon as Doris’s first child, Andrea, was born, Doris turned against our family. Tom’s youngest brother, Zorab, came to borrow some money from him to buy an engagement ring………and never returned the money. Three or four years later, Zorab came back to borrow more money and again, never returned it. At the same time, Zorab would take nice vacations and spend lots of money. One day, he came back again for more money. Daddy was not home and I told Zorab we didn’t have any money…..”did he think we were a bank?” After that, he never asked again, but also, never paid us. Auntie Elsie; Daddys sister, was like a sister to me always. Only once when her stepmother died, and grandpa was now alone, he once came to us and asked if he could live with us. We said okay so we gave our bedroom to Grandpa and me and Daddy went upstairs to sleep in our daughter, Elise’s, bed. Elise would sleep on the floor. Grandpa was still not happy. He was a difficult man and always had something to complain about. He wanted to bring his couch into our dining room; which there was no room for. Auntie Elsie was very upset. She had an empty room and said to bring him over there, but with conditions. She kept Grandpa three days; we kept him two and Bobbie and Zorab would share weekends. Elsie would send grandpa in a taxi and daddy would drive him back after dinner. Grandpa was back and forth like a yo-yo. He didn’t know where he was half the time. Elsie changed her mind and wanted to put Grandpa in a nursing home. I’ll never forget the day I went with Elsie to bring him to the nursing home. Never. Grandpa’s brother, Amoo, was such a sweet man. I loved Amoo’s family. They used to love me like their daughter. We all got along very good with each other. Cousins, Olga, Betty, Eva, Pam and Sammy; we all were a big happy family. Amoo and Grandpa had a sister in Lowell, MA named Houdakou and her husband Persah. We would drive from Worcester almost every weekend. It was almost like our own house. Persah died, Houdakou had 9 nieces and nephews but was still alone because she had no children herself. She asked us to come over and showed us her financial situation. She wanted us to have her house and a few hundred dollars she had saved. We said no because Daddy didn’t want any trouble with the 9 nieces and nephews. She always insisted she wanted to give it to Tommy. She wanted to live with us in Worcester. We were very happy about it. We told her first to not sell her house but to come stay with us and see if you would want to be with us and 3 children. Then we would decide. She was very happy about it. She stayed with us, then about three months later she decided she would rather go back to her house because it was a little hard for her with the children. Then almost every Sunday after church our family would drive to Lowell to visit her. We would take her places with us and even on vacation. Then she said she felt very comfortable with this situation. Daddy would always check on her and visit to make sure she was all right. One day we got a phone call that she fell and was rushed to the hospital. Me and daddy went to the hospital and found out she had a heart attack. She was in the hospital for 2 weeks and was going to come to our house after the hospital. Her room, paperwork, etc was complete and she was going to come to live with us. Then one night the hospital called us to come in. When we went there, she had died. She had made her will and left everything to daddy and me. She left a two-tenement house in Lowell. I asked daddy to keep the house and rent it. He didn’t want to. We sold the house for $15,000 and we gave all the furniture and contents to the buyer.

That was in the late 1960’s. Tommy and Randy were attending school and I wanted to go back to work to help daddy. Daddy was very against me working and would get very upset when we discussed it. He said my job was in the home. One day I received a letter from my sister Elise, from France. She said all of the papers for our sister Monique were complete for her to come live in the USA. We were so happy about it. I figured if my sister Monique came first then it would be easy for my sister Elise and brother-in-law to come over, too. We prepared everything here for Monique to come. My sister Elise prepared all of Monique’s belongings in France for the trip. I received a letter from Elise. She took Monique to the American Counsate. She was unable to get her papers because she couldn’t read. Tommy contacted newspapers and politicians alike for assistance. We kept getting told nobody could help because it was a law. We were very disappointed. Tommy, Jr. was seven and Randy was six when I became pregnant with Elise. We decide to have another baby as I wasn’t going back to work. Elise was born on April 5, 1967. She was our sunshine. We were very happy she had two brothers who adored her. One year later my sister Elise came to visit us from France. She was very happy to see the children and to be with us. We had a wonderful time. After when baby Elise was 5 years old, she started school. I didn’t listen to daddy and I went to find a job because we needed to save money for the kid’s education. I worked for 20 years from the house as a seamstress. Daddy was happy I was able to work from home and be with the kids. The kids grew a little older. Tommy was no problem as he went through high school. Randy was very active, however. In high school we bought them both a used car to share. They both worked to pay for the car’s expenses. One day during Thanksgiving the police came to the door.